So as a guy interested in fantasy and historical epic I decided to try and write some. It is not really that difficult because epics don’t necessarily rhyme and so I put together a form and tried it out. I decided that my epic form would have 10 syllables per line, 10 lines per stanza and 10 stanzas. Easy enough right? Well, here was my first attempt at it for a friend I game with.
The Epic of Cruhand the Rat King Killer
This is the story of a brave fighter.
He was a warrior from a land afar.
From the dark mysterious mountains.
In a land bathed in ever burning flame.
Where the dragons once ruled for an ion.
A place where only the strongest may live.
Where the weak are devoured by evil.
He was born with the blood of the dragon.
He grew up with a thirst for adventure.
His foes shook when they heard his name; Cruhand.
I, Rick James the Silver Tongue, first knew him,
Escaping from Rheek the Rat King’s sewer.
He and his brave band of adventurers
Were hacking and slashing their way inside.
I thought I was doomed with rats and ogres
Blocking my exit from the wretched place.
But ignoring the danger they attacked.
With much ferocity the foes were felled.
Shortly, before me lay our enemies.
With introductions I joined the party.
Their goal and now mine was to kill the Rat
So returning from whence I came we went.
And pushed through a space made for stinky rats.
Before we emerged on the other side
We were waylaid by a group of green slimes.
Cruhand and the rest went on the attack,
And our draconic hero was swallowed.
The slime began to digest his hard hide.
But succumbed to his fiery breath.
Slimes melted like jello we continued.
We journeyed into a pit for Rheek’s pet.
And nearly snuck by it undetected.
But the beast awoke and quickly attacked.
And Cru just laughed at the challenge at hand.
And pounded the beast with fist, breath and tail.
Bravely we fought the hideous creature.
Its tentacles whipped and smacked us around.
All the while Cru had his mark on the fiend.
Taunting it and teasing it to attack.
In bloody cries fell both hero and beast.
We gathered round to examine the mess
Fearing Cruhand had succumbed to his wounds,
The beast laying slaughtered covered in blood,
Cru faintly mumbled to hand him his hat.
Alive but injured there was one option.
We would bring our friend and cure his wounds.
I used my cunning to bluff by the guards.
Leading the team until Cru could be healed.
We disposed of more guards and fought gargoyles.
Finally resting in the Rat’s own nest.
With aid from me and a grumpy cleric
Cru was recovered and ready to kill.
Down hallways and into a room with ogres,
Cru yelled “plan A” and charged in with no fear.
Surrounded he fought in front and in back.
While I bluffed an ogre so cleverly.
The dragon man roared and spit holding tight.
Swinging and charging no thought for safety.
Cru and the group slaughtered all that challenged.
Countless guards and ogres met their demise.
I intercepted a guard getting help.
Enduring bolts from his deadly crossbow.
Evading him by crawling like a rat,
I quickly made my way to the prison.
With my grand silver tongue I bluffed the guards
Into releasing an ally they held.
But before I could escape with the man,
The archer fired a bolt in my back.
With battle raging, me nearly beaten,
Cruhand and group arrived and crushed them all.
Nearly to our goal I tricked all the guards
To think that Cruhand was heading away.
With madness they chased up to the surface.
Leaving us to find Rheek in his throne room.
But “Plan A” failed us as turning the door,
Dropped us into a pit with rot grub beasts.
The worms tried to eat their way through our skin,
But they could not overcome the dragon!
Cruhand burned the worms with his fire breath.
He crawled from the pit even angrier.
He burst through the door finally at his goal.
Guards and ogres would not stop him this time.
Too many times had Rheek escaped his fate.
The party made quick work of others there.
And Cruhand charged the Rat King on his throne.
His foot in an iron boot he fought on.
His hat looking magnificent as always.
Missing time after time, not losing heart,
He kept fighting, not accepting defeat.
Finally the Rat King died at his feet.
But Cruhand’s rage was still unsatisfied.
Even gold and jewels were still not enough.
He crushed statues and even Rheek’s stone throne,
Showing the way to even more riches.
He collected those and searched the whole room.
But he look around for more things to take,
Crawled in a hole too small for our hero.
There a rat attacked him, gnawing his face.
There he died having come all that way,
Beat the king, but another rat’s dinner.
The Sureshot 