Me: (takes phone away because student keeps using it rather than writing her essay)

Student: what if my mom calls?

Me: then you’ll find out later

Student: but what if it’s important?

Me: then you’ll find out later

Student: but what if she’s in the hospital and it’s an emergence and she wants to talk to me?

Me: then you’ll find out later

Student: but what if I took your phone and let’s say your wife is pregnant and she goes into labor and has a baby and you’re not even there and then she is mad and divorces you?

Me: then I’ll find out later